re-learning to pray...

For months it seems i have been on this track of withdrawing. from friendships, from community, from engaging interaction with people i love, and withdrawing from my relationship with jesus. I am not in a low point in life, I am not struggling with marriage, I am not in some of the dire spots i have been in in my life. I just feel like i have been putting myself out there for a long period of time and the introvert buried deep in my soul is trying to come out. Not that, that makes any sense, because introverted i am not. So i find myself in this weird position of feeling that life is moving along just fine without much interaction from god, and without much interaction from the community of folks i have been building for the last 4-5 years.

But, i sit here, and i have this hollow feeling in my gut, and i feel like i am leaving god behind, and its ok because life seems to be good. I have this need to reconnect with jesus. I need to pray, i need to get him back into my daily thought process. I know at my core, how i function, and what motivates me has not changed, I still feel very rooted in a belief in god, and his desire for me to know him better. That is not changed, what i do feel has changed is this outward interaction with life that has me confused and kind of sad. (where the sad comes from i am not sure, that maybe the caffiene crash i am feeling)

So I think what I need right now is prayer. My own personal prayer, and the voices of others lifting up my heart and soul to jesus. I am a firm believer that prayer is not just me asking god for stuff, but me talking to god, and in the process me learning about my heart and the way i perceive life, faith, love, and the journey. I believe that god changes us through this, teaches us through this, and draws us closer to him. I am asking for my heart to to change, to be re-aligned with the god who desires for me to have a full life, and not just a hum-drum existence. I am desiring for jesus to come in and flip a switch, and turn the lights back on, because honestly i feel like i have been on a 6 month hiatus from earnestly engaging with him the way i feel like i need to.

Some of this may come from my need to feel good about stuff, and my need for comfort, but i think the thread that ties this all together is the fact that daily i know i need jesus. I know I can make it through the days without him, but do i really want to? I did this for a long time, and in the end found myself joyless and broken. Am i Afriad to go back there? Absolutely. Do I really think that I will end up there? I don't know. I know that choices in life lead to circumstances that you have to face. I don't want to face some of my past ever again, so this very well could be a driving factor. This could also be me just searching for excuses, or trying to justify why i feel the way i do.

Regardless, I think i need to re-learn how to pray. How to sit in the morning and talk to jesus before my day gets rolling, on the way to work, and throughout the day. I need this to change my heart and bring me back to the place where i believe he wants me.
Is this all a load of crap? It might be...but deep down inside me i know there is something that is driving me in the direction i am going. I don't want it to be the wrong direction, so I have stopped and taken notice.

If your the praying kind. I would solicit your voice to jesus for me and my family. I thank you for your willingness to intercede for us, and I pray that your path will lead you to the place where jesus wants you to be.

peace

Mike

Good News!

In my previous post i was lamenting the fact that there is no place good to go get a beer and a burger in my neighborhood. I Have great news. I have found an awesome little corner bar that has no coors, yuengling, bud light, or miller lite on tap. Nope not one single crappy beer on tap. They had Legacy, Boulder, Spatan, Ballast Point. The bad news is that it is not within walking distance of the house. I guess its a small price to pay for not having to drive into center city or over to mt airy to get a good beer. The Bartender was aptly inked, and his Bar maven was as well, and his beer nerdiness was very much appreciated. The fries good. the Quesadilla good. the Pizza, Not good, but the beer list was pretty spectacular. A burger passed byus as we sat there, and it look quite tasty, but we were there for the beer. So here's the deal. I can't tell you what its called or where it is. Because there were about 10 locals in there, and my friend and i were enjoying one side of the u shaped bar for about 45 minutes to ourselves. I feel like we have to keep this to ourselves, becuase my last favorite bar has become more popular and the last time i walked in there, i walked right back out. So..Apologies to anyone hoping to know what this little gem may be. If you want to come with...we might have to blind fold you.

Michael Row Your Boat...

Someone I work with sent this to me today and it just confirms that I need cut the line a row the boat ashore. Take a look.



This promo is almost 30 years old, and Save the 70's music and the awesome disco font, this my friends is what i do. I sell news, to you the viewer. This is my job. It has not changed in 30 years. It is sad. This is confirmation that the whole promo thing needs to be revamped, retooled, and made into good tv, or i should get my cardboard box, and begin looking for something else to do with my life. Seriously, nearly 30 years and we are all still trying to say the same thing.

Sad.